There comes a time in a man’s life when he’s simply too old for foursomes, and when that time comes, he ditches his three girlfriends and finds some 19-year-old twins. Yes, High Exalted Supreme Pimp Hugh Hefner is done with The Girls Next Door—Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson—and rebounding with identical twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon. In honor of his trailblazing (damn near jail-blazing) new twofer, Complex counts down the hottest twins who need to be introduced to the twins.
There’s nothing these sexy 19-year-old twins want more than Hef’s 82-year-old sexual experience.
#1 000 000: COCO MILLER & KELLY MILLER Gotta start the countdown somewhere, right? Besides, these beefy WNBA twins overpowered us and forced their way in.
#12: JEAN SAGAL & LIZ SAGAL Peg Bundy’s real life sisters were the old school “Doublemint Twins,” and if that weren’t enough flavor to chew on, they played twin cheerleaders in Grease 2. Grease two? Don’t mind if we do.
#11: BARBARA BUSH & JENNA BUSH Who needs brains when you have Bush?
#10: CARA NICOLE GOSSELIN & MADELYN KATE GOSSELIN These Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht stars are gonna be a problem in 2018. OK, they’re a problem for some of us right now.
#9: JILL HENNESSY & JACQUELINE HENNESSY We’re chasing Hennessy with Hennessy. Man up, bitches.
#8: JANICE VIDAL and JILL VIDAL Jill, the more street of these HK singers, does “hardcore R&B.” We’re gonna go ahead and assume that means she’s OK with us practicing the rhythm and bust-off method.
#7: MARY-KATE OLSEN & ASHLEY OLSEN Contrary to thrice fact-checked new reports, Heath Ledger actually overdosed from ingesting too much of their sexiness.
#6: JESSICA ORIGLIASSO & LISA ORIGLIASSO (The Veronicas) We have only one question for these Aussie pop rockers: “G’day. Mate?”
#5: TIA MOWRY & TAMERA MOWRY Half African-American and half Italian-American, these two are like the sexual tension in a Spike Lee movie. And we want to do the right thing to both of them.
#4: SCARLETT JOHANSSON & HUNTER JOHANSSON One out of two ain’t bad, especially when that one has unbelievable twos!
#3: NAIMA MORA & NIA MORA Naima was one of Tyra Banks’s next top models. Her sister could get on top too.
#2: GISELE BUNDCHEN & PATRICIA BUNDCHEN We don’t think it’s cool that Brazil harbored Nazi war criminals, but these beauties are proof that good things can happen when Brazil gets in bed with Germany.
#1: NICOLE ALBINO & NATALIE ALBINO (Nina Sky) These Puerto Rican dance artists from Queens may never do better than 44 on The Billboard 200, but around our way, they’re número uno pa’ siempre!